Here's my University of Hawaii parking story.

On August 12, my son and I went to the lower campus to watch the UH Football practice. I paid the $4 to park in the structure. We got to the practice and stayed for 90 minutes or so. When we got to our car, there was a parking citation on the windshield. We got it because I didn't display the ticket clearly on the dashboard.

The parking rules & regs at UH allow for an informal appeal. But you have only seven calendar days to initiate it. In the meantime, I misplace the citation. I find it on Wednesday August 19. Just in time, seven days later.

First thing I do is call the phone number on the citation envelope. No answer. I get the recording that mentions an email. I email UH Parking that I got the citation and but I paid the ticket upon entry. Please waive the fee. And I also offer to send them a copy of my parking ticket that documents when I entered.

A day later, I still don't have a reply from the UH Parking office. I call again. No one answers. Somewhere I find a new phone number to call, one specifically for appealing citations. I call that one. No one answers. The outgoing message mentions another email and the ability for appeals to be made via this email address. Ok great. Efficiency!

I write my email and make scans of my citation and parking ticket. I send it off to citation@hawaii.edu. Very soon after that, I get an email from the UH Parking office. I thought, “Hooray! A quick reply back.” Not to be. It's an automated response that says, “this email account is no longer being monitored, please make your appeal using this link...” Arrgghhh!

Ok, so I click on the link. It brings me to the citation appeal page. I click through and enter my citation number. Good news: my citation is in the system. Bad news, the system says I'm too late and I have to pay the fine and the late fee.

Am I expecting too much? A system that works? A system that can handle automation and personal customer service when it's warranted?

More calls to both the UH Parking office and the Citation office. Neither is answered. I'm beginning to wonder if anyone is in the office at all. I know someone is working. After all, I did get the citation!

It's 4:17p as I type this. One more try to both numbers before the office “closes” for the day at 4:30pm. No answer at the Parking office. No answer at the Citation number either.

No doubt, I made some mistakes. I should have put the parking ticket on my dashboard like I normally do. I should have put the citation in a place where it was more easily found. I probably should have left a voice mail with my citation number in the message to further document my attempt to appeal in time.

Now I'm butting up against a system that has no leeway, no human interaction, no avenue for special cases.

Do I pay the fee and the fine and be done with it? Or do I stand up for the principles involved? Is it worth $25 to fight this?

Conspiracy theorists will say, “that's what they want you to do. It's only $25, just pay it and forget it. Multiply that by a few hundred instances and you've just paid an assistant football coach.”

My guts say to fight till I at least talk to a human on the phone in real time. We'll see what happens in the next few days.

What's the word “fa**ot” worth? $169,000 according to the University of Hawaii.

That's the full financial penalty UH football coach Greg McMackin is forking over for his clumsy use of the term when describing Notre Dame's celebration upon winning the Hawaii Bowl earlier this year.

The penalties seem steep, exaggerated and blown out of proportion.

There's no doubt that McMackin's use of the word was wrong. If I heard my kids use that word in describing another person, a quick reprimand would be in order.

But the context was appropriate for some competitive ribbing from a coach directed at an opposing team. Football is a competitive sport. There's a lot of bravado out there on the field, in the locker rooms and throughout media. Do we expect this hard-hitting sport to descend to the level of croquet?

Choose any other word. Panty. Girly. Lame. Anything but that “f” word. And coach probably wouldn't be in the hot water he's in right now.

We need to remember something. He was talking about the Notre Dame dance. He wasn't deriding gay people. He was, as head football coach, standing up for UH. Now he's taking one for the team.

And for this, he's being severely punished. Harshly. $169,000 worth of harsh.

My point is, the gist of his remarks was totally acceptable, given the context. What coach McMackin meant to say was “Our ha'a is better than your silly little clap dance.”

Again, bravado from a football coach. It's what we expect. It's what we want. He was a good sport about the game as Notre Dame beat UH soundly. And he acknowledged that.

If anything, the beef should be coming from Notre Dame. But really, it shouldn't. Their coach, Charlie Weis, said that the football team was “offended.” Are you kidding me? A bunch of football players offended by an opposing coach's comments? Whatever happened to the equally strong verbal rebuke? Charlie, you were offended? You're a football coach, dude. That kind of talk comes with the territory. You know that!

Is this going to be the standard by which we will measure ourselves? Or does this apply only to coaches of major universities? How many times have the phrase “that's so gay!” been uttered on the campus of any university? My guess, thousands. And certainly by faculty and students alike.

The Bravo TV show “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” was a huge hit. The word “queer” has always been a derogatory term for gays. No fines or suspensions here. In fact, the gay community embraced the show and members of the cast received awards. Is the difference that the use is coming from gays? Like when African Americans use the n-word? Quite the double standard. If these words are so verbotten, we should not accept them on any level from anyone.

Remember, too, the guy made a mistake. And he realized it immediately. Granted, he didn't handle himself well at the very moment. But he knew it as soon as he said it. And he apologized immediately. Give Coach McMackin credit for trying to right his wrong on the spot instead of brushing it off and delaying his candor.

But, no. We take an honorable man and hang him by his gonads for the entire nation to see. For a mistake. An error in judgment in the heat of a moment.

Makes you wonder what the university would have done had Coach McMackin done some nefarious deed deliberately and then lied about doing it. Where does this punishment leave room for egregious, purposeful actions? Make it an 8% dock in pay and 60 days suspension? 9%? 10%? There is no other disciplinary action short of firing.

Read the reactions on the news websites. They are mixed at best. Some say “big deal.” Others say, “too harsh.” A few say “good, it's a start.” Some remind us that it's football. And if you can't handle it, go play jacks.

The penalty is overblown. An appropriate response would have been a reprimand with a record in his employment file.

Coach McMackin now has to work personally with the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender community on campus at UH-Manoa. His fine will go toward an LGBT intern who will run awareness workshops on campus. He'll have to give presentations during student orientations. And McMackin will have to support awareness & sensitivity training at UH.

This is outrageous and humiliating. As if the financial penalties and multiple public apologies weren't enough. The university is dragging this man through the mud for a simple error in judgment. A very public error. But again, a mistake. Not something done on purpose with the intent to harm.

Michael Vick deserves what he got; his actions were on purpose. He meant to fight dogs. He meant to kill these animals. And he lied about it.

Greg McMackin was supporting his team, recalling a defeat at home against Notre Dame. Coach McMackin was defending his home turf. His only problem was a poor choice of words.

But then that leads to this. Are we not a country that supports freedom of speech? We let people burn flags. We let people disparage our presidents. We let people express themselves in ways unimaginable to our founding fathers. And we let these expressions hide under the forgiving umbrella of freedom of speech.

Unless it happens at a large, state-run university that cowers under everything resembling anything.

We protect the feelings of everyone, blind to the fact that this is an impossible task.

For the record, I have friends in the LGBT community. And I remain friends with them. But it doesn't mean I agree with their sexual practices. I have friends who are Democrats. I have friends who are Republicans. I have friends who are Libertarians. Doesn't mean I agree with their politics.

McMackin's punishment is too harsh. Reprimand the guy for losing his composure in that moment. But remember to support him as he fights for his university.